{"id":247,"date":"2014-05-06T17:01:34","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T17:01:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=247"},"modified":"2014-05-06T17:02:33","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T17:02:33","slug":"things-you-wont-hear-a-southern-boy-say","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=247","title":{"rendered":"Things you won’t hear a southern boy say…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n
29.<\/td>\nI\u2019ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
28.<\/td>\nDuct tape won\u2019t fix that.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
27.<\/td>\nCome to think of it, I\u2019ll have a Heineken<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
26.<\/td>\nWe don\u2019t keep firearms in this house.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
25.<\/td>\nYou can\u2019t feed that to the dog.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
24.<\/td>\nNo kids in the back of the pickup, it\u2019s just not safe.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
23.<\/td>\nWrestling is fake.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
22.<\/td>\nWe\u2019re vegetarians.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
21.<\/td>\nDo you think my gut is too big?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
20.<\/td>\nI\u2019ll have grapefruit and grapes instead of biscuits and gravy..<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
19.<\/td>\nHoney, we don\u2019t need another dog.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
18.<\/td>\nWho gives a damn who won the Civil War?<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
17.<\/td>\nGive me the small bag of pork rinds.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
16.<\/td>\nToo many deer heads detract from the decor.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
15.<\/td>\nI just couldn\u2019t find a thing at Wal-Mart today.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
14.<\/td>\nTrim the fat off that steak.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
13.<\/td>\nCappuccino tastes better than espresso.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
12.<\/td>\nThe tires on that truck are too big.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
11.<\/td>\nI\u2019ve got it all on the C: DRIVE.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
10.<\/td>\nUnsweetened tea tastes better.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
9.<\/td>\nMy fianc\u00e9, Bobbie Jo, is registered at Tiffany\u2019s.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
8.<\/td>\nI\u2019ve got two cases of Zima for the Super Bowl.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
7.<\/td>\nCheckmate<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
6.<\/td>\nShe\u2019s too young to be wearing a bikini.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
5.<\/td>\nHey, here\u2019s an episode of \u201cHee Haw\u201d that we haven\u2019t seen.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
4.<\/td>\nI don\u2019t have a favorite college team.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
3.<\/td>\nYou Guys.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
2.<\/td>\nThose shorts ought to be a little longer, Betty Mae.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
And the number one thing that you will never hear a southern boy say:<\/em><\/td>\n<\/tr>\n
1.<\/td>\nWhen I retire, I\u2019m movin\u2019 north.<\/td>\n<\/tr>\n<\/tbody>\n<\/table>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

29. I\u2019ll take Shakespeare for 1000, Alex. 28. Duct tape won\u2019t fix that. 27. Come to think of it, I\u2019ll have a Heineken 26. We don\u2019t keep firearms in this house. 25. You can\u2019t feed that to the dog. 24. … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-247","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=247"}],"version-history":[{"count":9,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":256,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/247\/revisions\/256"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=247"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=247"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=247"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}