{"id":257,"date":"2014-05-06T17:05:40","date_gmt":"2014-05-06T17:05:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=257"},"modified":"2014-05-06T17:05:40","modified_gmt":"2014-05-06T17:05:40","slug":"helpful-hints","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=257","title":{"rendered":"Helpful Hints!!!"},"content":{"rendered":"
    \n
  1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.<\/li>\n
  2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.<\/li>\n
  3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.<\/li>\n
  4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.<\/li>\n
  5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you\u2019ll be afraid to cough.<\/li>\n
  6. You only need two tools in life \u2013 WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn\u2019t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn\u2019t move and does, use the duct tape.<\/li>\n
  7. If you can\u2019t fix it with a hammer, you\u2019ve got an electrical problem.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-257","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=257"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":259,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/257\/revisions\/259"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=257"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=257"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=257"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}