ONLY IN TEXAS<\/p>\n
President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Obama ” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Archie, down here at the Joe’s Crab Shack, Houston Texas , I am callin’ to tell ya\u2019ll that we are officially declaring war on ya!”<\/p>\n
“Well Archie,” Barack replied, “This is indeed important news ! How big is your army ?”<\/p>\n
“Right now,” said Archie, after a moments calculation “there is myself, my cousin Harold, my next-door-neighbor Randy, and the whole dart team from Hooters. That makes eight!”<\/p>\n
Barack paused. “I must tell you Archie that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command.”<\/p>\n
“Wow,” said Archie. “I’ll have at call ya back!”<\/p>\n
Sure enough, the next day, Archie called again. ” Mr. Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!”<\/p>\n
“And what equipment would that be Archie?” Barack asked. ”<\/p>\n
Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and Harry ‘s farm tractor.” President Obama sighed.<\/p>\n
“I must tell you Archie, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I’ve increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke.”<\/p>\n
“Lord above”, said Archie, “I’ll be getting back to ya.” Sure enough, Archie rang again the next day.. ” President Obama , the war is still on! We have managed to git ourselves airborne! We up an’ modified Harolds’s ultra-light with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four boys from the Legion have joined us as well!”<\/p>\n
Barack was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. “I must tell you Archie that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I’ve increased my army to TWO MILLION!”<\/p>\n
“Oh Lord,” said Archie, “I’ll have at call you back.” Sure enough, Archie called again the next day. ” President Obama ! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war.”<\/p>\n
“I’m sorry to hear that” said Barack . “Why the sudden change of heart?”<\/p>\n
Well, sir,” said Archie, “we’ve all sat ourselves down and had a long chat over a few beers, and come to realize that there’s just no way we can feed two million prisoners..”<\/p>\n
TEXAS CONFIDENCE CANNOT BE SHAKEN<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
ONLY IN TEXAS President Barack Obama was in the Oval Office when his telephone rang. “Hello, President Obama ” a heavily accented southern voice said. “This is Archie, down here at the Joe’s Crab Shack, Houston Texas , I am … Continue reading