{"id":85,"date":"2011-07-19T10:49:22","date_gmt":"2011-07-19T10:49:22","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=85"},"modified":"2011-10-20T12:01:43","modified_gmt":"2011-10-20T12:01:43","slug":"85","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=85","title":{"rendered":"The Reverend!"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>At the regular Sunday morning service, Rev. Roberto announced that he was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is so popular. <\/p>\n<p>Colin, who owns several car dealerships stands up and proclaims &#8220;If Rev Roberto stays, I will provide him with a new Mercedes every year, and his wife with a Honda CRV, to transport their children!&#8221;  The congregation sighs in appreciation and applauds. <\/p>\n<p>David, a successful businessman and lawyer, stands and says, &#8220;If Rev Roberto will stay on here, I&#8217;ll personally double his salary, and establish a foundation to guarantee a free university education for his children!&#8221; More sighs and loud applause&#8230;. <\/p>\n<p>Martha age 68, stands and announces with a smile, &#8220;If Rev Roberto stays, I will give him sex!!&#8221; There is total silence. <\/p>\n<p>Rev Roberto blushing, asks her: &#8220;Martha, you&#8217;re a wonderful and holy lady. Whatever possessed you to say that?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Martha&#8217;s 70-year old husband, Mike, is now trying to hide, holding his forehead with the palm of his hand, and shaking his head from side to side, while his wife replied, &#8220;Well, I just asked my husband how we could help&#8221;, and he said: &#8220;F\u00fc?? him!&#8221;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>At the regular Sunday morning service, Rev. Roberto announced that he was planning to leave for a larger church that would pay him more. There is a hush within the congregation. No one wants him to leave, because he is &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/?p=85\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-85","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-jokes-faith"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=85"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":202,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/85\/revisions\/202"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=85"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=85"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.decarl.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=85"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}