Dear Noah,
\nWe could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5.
\nSincerely,
\nUnicorns
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Twilight fans,
\nPlease realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood
\npumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy
\nfantasizing about that.
\nSincerely,
\nLogic
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Icebergs,
\nSorry to hear about the global warming. Karma’s a bitch.
\nSincerely,
\nThe Titanic
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear America ,
\nYou produced Miley Cyrus. Bieber is your punishment.
\nSincerely,
\nCanada
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Yahoo,
\nI’ve never heard anyone say, “I don’t know, let’s Yahoo! it…” just saying…
\nSincerely,
\nGoogle
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear 2010,
\nSo I hear the best rapper is white and the president is black? WTF happened?!
\nSincerely,
\n1985
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear girls who have been dumped,
\nThere are plenty of fish in the sea… Just kidding! They’re all dead.
\nSincerely,
\nBP
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Saturn,
\nI liked it, so I put a ring on it.
\nSincerely,
\nGod
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear jf;ldsfa\/kvsmmklnn,
\nPlease lknvfdmv.xvn.
\nSincerely,
\nStevie Wonder
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Skin-Colored Band Aids,
\nPlease make one for every skin color.
\nSincerely,
\nBlack people
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Scissors,
\nI feel your pain…..no one wants to run with me either.
\nSincerely,
\nSarah Palin
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Osama Bin Laden,
\nMarco….
\nSincerely,
\nUnited States
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear World of Warcraft,
\nThank you for ensuring my son’s virginity.
\nSincerely,
\nParents Everywhere
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Batman,
\nWhat was your power again?
\nSincerely,
\nSuperman
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Customers,
\nYes, we ARE making fun of you in Vietnamese.
\nSincerely,
\nNail Salon Ladies
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Ugly People,
\nYou’re welcome.
\nSincerely,
\nAlcohol
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear World,
\nPlease stop freaking out about 2012. Our calendars end there because
\nsome Spanish d-bags invaded our country and we got a little busy ok?
\nSincerely,
\nThe Mayans
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear White People,
\nDon’t you just hate immigrants?
\nSincerely,
\nNative Americans
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear iPhone,
\nPlease stop spell checking all of my rude words into nice words. You
\npiece of shut.
\nSincerely,
\nEvery iPhone User
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Trash,
\nAt least you get picked up…
\nSincerely,
\nThe Girls of Jersey Shore
\n___________________________________________________________
\nDear Man,
\nIt’s cute, but can you pick up peanuts with it?
\nSincerely,
\nElephant
\n___________________________________________________________<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
Dear Noah, We could have sworn you said the ark wasn’t leaving till 5. Sincerely, Unicorns ___________________________________________________________ Dear Twilight fans, Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. … Continue reading